"I think there are Rappers, MC’s and Artists. A Rapper to me is the type that can rap about the usual superficial shit, make it their shtick and appeal to just a certain type of audience; an MC is one that can regardless of their shtick can move any type of crowd and say something worthwhile once and a while; and an Artist is one who can just be themselves all the time and have the world feel them for who they are because it is authentic expression."

we are all our worst critics.

too much music-

thank gawd for external hard drives.

please die ana

There is way too much pressure on women these days to be skinny.  It pisses me off a great deal.  Who decided that being emaciated is attractive?  I admit, I fall into the category of the pressure to be thin, but at the same time, I’d rather say, “fuck it”, and just enjoy myself.  I just had a baby a little over 2 months ago, and I’m pretty thick right now.  some would even say I’m fat, even though I’m totally not.  but even if i was, who cares?  being healthy is one thing, starving yourself is another.  exercising releases endorphins, but are you really having fun working out for hours and hours every day?  sure, you’ll get the results, but at what expense.  i personally think being too skinny is not attractive at all.  if you ask most men, they like their women with curves.  i agree with that.  back in the day, models were a size 12, even 14… they weren’t a size 00.  it’s ridiculous.  and people throw the word “fat” around way too easily.  which is why there are so many women who suffer from anorexia/bulimia.  it’s extremely sad.  and also, just because you’re skinny, doesn’t mean you’re in shape or healthy.  i definitely am going to strive to get back to my old weight, but mostly for the fact that i felt good and i was in shape.  i still was thick and had curves like a real woman.  next time you want to tell someone that they’re fat, realize that you may be pushing them to really hurt themselves and that’s a horrible thing.  it’s very tragic that people have to change their looks for others.  be healthy and don’t worry about trying to please everyone else. if you’re happy with yourself, that’s all that matters. but believe me, you won’t be happy being 90 pounds.

<3

i miss myspace surveys…

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage: hot chocolate
2. last phone call: mega
3. last text message: celine
4. last song you listened to: “grease” - future islands
5. last time you cried: yesterday, but only because i was watching a Jeff Buckley live performance haha

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = yep
7. been cheated on = i’m not sure, but probably
8. kissed someone & regretted it = eh, don’t regret
9. lost someone special = yes.
10. been depressed = i have, yes. overcame it.
11. been drunk and threw up = quite awhile ago. i barely drink anymore.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. royal purple
13. teal
14. lavender

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2012)
15. Made a new friend?: mhm
16. Fallen out of love?: nope. that happened well over a year ago.
17. Laughed until you cried? love that.
18. Met someone who changed you?: absolutely
19. Found out who your true friends were?: ha, interesting question. yes.
20. Found out someone was talking about you?: don’t we all?
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend’s list ?: stupid.

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life: probably like 90% of them
24. Do you have any pets: boop.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: had a party at broadway bar.
27. What time did you wake up today: 630 - 7
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading, like every night
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: tampa, bird’s nest, HLP visit, disney world
30. Last time you saw your Mother: few hours ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i don’t think i’d change anything
32. What are you listening to right now: kate bush
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: it’s a fairly common name, no?
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: i wish my ex would stop bothering me.
35. Most visited webpage: last.fm, tumblr, various recipe sites
37. Nicknames: jess, jessie, birdie, granny, grandma
38. Relationship Status: something new is starting, but single
39. Zodiac Sign: typical pisces
40. He or She?: She
41. Elementary? indian hollow
42. Middle School? commack and smithtown christian school
43. High School? commack, smithtown christian school, northport
44. Hair Color? original is dark dark brown with reddish tones, right now it’s purple/lavender/fuschia
45. Long or short? short, but i’m attempting to grow it once again
46. Height? 5’8
47. Do you have a crush on someone? i get crushes constantly, but they are short lived. i lose interest fast.
48: What do you like about yourself? i can make myself laugh and i’m passionate
49. Piercings? ears, nostril, septum. in the past - monroe, lip, labret, vertical labret, nips, belly button
50. Tattoos? 20 something?
51. Righty or lefty? left, but i’m ambidextrous with some things
52. First surgery = when i was in 3rd grade on my back
53. First piercing = ears.
54. First best friend = christy
55. First sport you joined = danced since i was 2, softball for like 3 yrs
58. First pair of trainers = idk.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating - Nothing.
60. Drinking - water
61. I’m about to – smoke a butt, go for a walk with my daughter when she wakes up
62. Listening to – people under the stairs
63. Waiting for – mimi to wake up
64. Want kids?- i’ve got the most amazing little girl
65. Get Married? - eh, marriage is a business transaction
66. Career? makeup artist

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes? = i cant choose this one
68. Hugs or kisses = nudges
69. Shorter or taller = taller
70. Older or Younger = meh
71. Romantic or spontaneous = spontaneous.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = i dont care
73. Sensitive or loud = cant you be loudly sensitive?
74. Hook-up or relationship = i dont do either haha, but relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = both

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = back in the party days
77. Drank hard liquor = you got me
78. Lost glasses/contacts = constant
79. Sex on first date = once, and was with him for like 6 yrs
80. Broken someone’s heart = yes
81. Had your own heart broken = kind of, i guess jwk
83. Turned someone down = awkward
84. Cried when someone died = of course
85. Fallen for a friend = kind of current

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = more than i ever have
87. Miracles = my belly produced one
88. Love at first sight = silly
89. Heaven = jeff buckley lives there
90. Santa Claus = hoink
91. Kiss on the first date= if you’re worthy ;)
92. Angels = look around you, there’s angels among us

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf at once? nooo
94. Is there one person you want to be with right now? we’ll see
95. Did you sing today? constantly
96. Ever cheated on somebody? there was a complicated situation once, but i wouldnt call it cheating
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? i wouldnt
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? no
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? not afraid, just apathetic
100. Posting this as 100 truths? nah